Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Party Was A Hit!


It's 4:50 a.m. and I can't sleep again tonight...insomnia...which I've had now for the past week. I've even taken Ambien CR to get to sleep and it did nothing...not even a sleeping pill is working...Ugh!! I think because I just have so much on my mind. I figured since I am up I might as well take advantage of the quiet time and blog a bit. The weather here has been so dreary for the last few days. Nothing but heavy rain and thunder. I'm hoping that will clear up.

The 6th Birthday party for Kaylee went very well. It was a nice day with family and she got lots of things that she really wanted. Thank you also for all your suggestions on things to make. I made a Jello mold that Kathleen suggested. It was pretty easy. I also did a dip that she suggested as well made with cream cheese and marshmallow fluff and a hint of red food coloring. They were both a hit with everyone. It's hard sometimes you always make the same things and it gets boring so trying something new was nice. Here are a couple of pictures of how they turned out. Did it look like I did it right Kathleen? They tasted good so that is the important part. I just had a little trouble getting the Jello mold out of the pan to the plate. I think I heated it up too much but I just popped it back in the freezer.

Cream Cheese and Marshmallow Fluff Dip

Dip with strawberries

Jello Mold

Jello Mold

My niece & Kaylee

My niece giving Kaylee a teddy bear and birthday hat she loved.

My mouth is feeling much better. I go back to the dentist next week for a porcelain crown on the tooth that had the root canal.

Things are still the same with my sister. I am still feeling really hurt and angry but I am just trying to get on with my life and try and put it past me for now. I know deep down what the real truth is and that is what really matters. It is been so hard this month--it's been nothing but up and down emotionally...though I got some great advice from Kathleen...."I can not change my sister, I can only change how I react to her". It is so true. I will just keep that in the back of my head and refuse to let her get me upset anymore. I think I let years worth of her upsetting me just pile up and then when this happened it was the straw that broke the camels back so to say. I have just decided that I will not do this anymore. I do not deserve to be talked to the way she talked to me or about my family and home. David is still very hurt especially with some things that just recently trainspired...just to long to go into.... but I am hoping with school starting he will be able to concentrate on other things.

Today was quiet mostly...the day after a pary is always cleaning up and relaxing for me. I even slept in a bit and my niece slept over as well and hung out with David all day. My mom stopped by and took David and my niece out to the pet store and David got a catfish for his tropical tank. He was getting some alge so the catfish should help clean that up.

Does anyone watch "Prison Break"? I always wanted to get into that show but never did and then when I tried watching it I was lost in the middle of the season so I just downloaded all of season 1 to my IPod so I can watch it. I know season two just started also so I have to catch up quick and I will DVR this season.

Well I am going to try and get back to sleep.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Dentist today...

Hey, I had a big root canal done today and I have been in pain all day since the novicaine wore off. My left side of my face is all swollen and my jaw is so sore it even hurts to swallow. I slept a lot and just got up. I sure hope I can fall back to sleep though. Plus I hope it feels better tomorrow.

Yesterday, my parents had dropped off my niece earlier in the day because my mom had an EMG test at the neurologist in Manhattan in regards to her herniated disc. When my parents got back they bought over a couple of pizzas for dinner and we all ate together. My niece decided that she wanted to sleep over so my parents just went home. It was getting late and we all got ready for bed but the kids all wanted to make ice cream cones. It was almost midnight but I figure I might as well let them enjoy the last of their summer vacation with a midnight ice cream party!! LOL!! David and my niece ended up just playing their video games and watching movies till all hours.

I am also getting ready for a barbeque that I am having here on Sunday to celebrate Kaylee's 6th birthday. I was trying to think of something different to make? Any suggestions? We are having some family over so it will be a small crowd. I did not invite my sister though. She is still being her stubborn self with not apologizing for what she did or acknowledging it either. Her birthday is next week on Sept 1st. My mom said this is going to be an interesting birthday. Though she said she understands totally where I am coming from and that she deserves it.

......Speaking of which, my niece just called me two minutes ago while I was typing this and she wanted to know if she could sleep over again. She had spent the evening with her dad and when she got home her mom was out and she was bored so she called me to come get her. I'm wide awake now from all the sleeping I did earlier so I am just going to go and run and get her and come home. From my house to Massapequa is only 6 miles. We needed milk anyways so I'll get that while I'm out too. Then I can come home and take my tylenol with codine and hopefully get back to sleep.

Well going to run...

Hugs!!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

My Weekend



Saturday afternoon, I spent the day doing what every woman just loves...laundy and cleaning...NOT!! Later on in the evening, Alan and I went out with my parents who are just back from their trip to Virginia Beach. We went out for Italian at a place called Phil's. It was really good but the portions are just huge. I ordered Penne Ala Vodka and I think there had to be like a pound of pasta in my bowl. I have enough leftovers for a couple of meals. We had a nice time though. Alan and I left there and went to Baskin Robbins to pick up some ice cream and bring it home for the kids.

We also saw he movie "Snakes On A Plane" I think it was pretty good. It is an action movie with Samuel L. Jackson. It is about an assassin who unleashes a crate full of lethal snakes aboard a packed passenger jet over the Pacific Ocean in order to eliminate a witness in protective custody. I didn't think I would like it but it turned out to be pretty good.

Tonight, we are going to watch "Accepted" another movie Alan got today. It is supposed to be about a high-school senior is supposed to be trying to get into college but keeps getting rejected. Not sure about how I'm going to like this one but I will let you know.

Also I worked on my site a little bit. Jen let me know that my tag-board wasn't working so I fixed that. If you have any problems with it let me know. Then I also decided just to link my main page right to my blog. It had all the same links anyways as my main family site. It just seemed easier. Most people come to read my blog anyways. I also got rid of the password protection. I just couldn't stand it anymore and hopefully I won't have any problems.

Oh and I also found out what that ugly bug was from my last post. It was a field cricket. Still yucky to me!!

Well I'm off to go and watch the movie. Talk to you tomorrow.



Thursday, August 17, 2006

Pretty Quiet Today



Today was mostly quiet. Woke up with a terrible headache though. I realized that when I woke up at 9 am to move my van for the landscapers so I just ended up going back to bed. Alan was home anyways till 3 p.m. because he had his employee open up the store so he was able to just keep the kids busy and quiet so I could rest. I finally started feeling better around 2:00 so I finally got up.

My mom called me from Virginia Beach where she, my dad and my niece are visiting my Aunt Tootsie. She wanted help setting up a wireless connection for my Aunt's computer. I explained how to connect it and it is working! Then my mom put me on the phone because my niece wanted to talk to me. We talked for 2 hours about how her trip was and what a good time she was having. That she had a great time at Busch Gardens--she said she rode the roller coaster 14 times in a row...god bless!! I did it 5-6 times in a row once with Alan and we were both dizzy and sick. Mind you we're in our 30's she is only 12. She said she also had a great time at the aquarium and going out on the boat to see dolphins. She also said she knew about the emails that have been going back and forth with her mom and I. I told her that I was still too upset about what transpired and that David and I are still too hurt with her mom right now and I won't be talking to her mother until she can admit what she really said and apologize sincerely for it. Not the condescending apology that I did get. She understood though. David got on the phone and talked to her for a little while also.

The girls played outside today but didn't feel like swimming. So I helped them set up paper and paint and they sat outside on the patio painting lots of pictures which kept them busy most of the afternoon. David was busy tinkering with his computer and trying to get a microphone working. He said it looks like he will be needing another one. Maybe later we'll run out to Target and check them out.

We also had to bury his big goldfish today "Garfield". David won him at a carnival a year ago and he grew so big. Truthfully we never expected him to live this long. He was so upset about though and refused to let me just flush it so we put him in a little box and buried him in the yard. My dad told him though when he got back from Virginia that he would take him for a new fish.

Oh and here is a picture of something ugly we found hopping around outside David's room. It must of jumped in from outside. I'm not sure what it is though, but it sure can jump. We caught it with David's fish tank net and put it back outside where he belonged. Anyone know what that is? Eweeee!

Other than that all's quiet. Alan works tonight till 8 p.m. and said he is going to bring home Chinese food so I didn't have to worry about cooking tonight which is good because I was planning on cooking a pot roast...guess that will wait till tomorrow.

Big Hugs!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

WTC Movie

Tuesday Evening....

Well just got back with David from seeing movie World Trade Center. I was a very good movie but not about the violence of 9/11 about two Port Authority Police Officers named Will and John. What happened to them that day and what their family's went through. I would recommend seeing it if you get the chance don't let yourself be afraid to see it. I was a touching story.

After the movie David and I went to Friendly's for dinner. He liked the movie alot. We talked alot about the things going on lately and he is still so very hurt by his Aunt. Who could blame him. I told him how I would love to be able to just snap my figers and make it all better to just be able to forgive my sister for her words that hurt both of us so much. But right now and especailly after todays emails that just isn't happening. I know it is good to talk your problems out but if you can't be civil to one another then I think the best this is not to touch it for a while. Let some time pass. I know I just feel deep in my heart that I can't let this one just pass like nothing happened. I hate to be that way but she has done this in the past. She just throws it all under a rug and thinks what she says isn't remembered. Well words hurt and one day she will realize that she lost a very good-hearted sister because of it.

Well I am going to call it an evening. Kaylee is sitting with me and needs to get washed up after her and Brittany's day at the park with Alan. It was funny they went to Friendly's too and must of left just before David and I got there.

Till tomorrow.


I'm Done!!

I am so done. My sister is a complete a**. She so needs some type of help. We have been going back and forth all day with emails. I expain to hear that what she said to me and my son are hurtful things and she comes back with it never happened and I don't know what I'm talking about. UGhh!! She is some piece of work. If you knew her you'd know what I am talking about. Telling me I am a slob who didn't pick up after my kids. This coming from someone who just sits in her room half the time with the door shut and lets her mommy pick up after her all the time. She is 33 years old! Grow up!! What planet is she on? She is so out of her mind with this c*ap. I just can't anymore. I am not going to be made angry by her any further.

I am on my way out to go and see World Trade Center at 5 p.m. with my son and then for a bite to eat. Alan didn't want to see it so he took the girls to the park and will take them out to dinner.

I will write more later on...

Hugs!!
Dawn

Monday, August 14, 2006

And Still Continues

Hey...I am sitting on my husbands laptop in bed...I can't sleep again. So I figured I would write a little. Just to help me clear my head a little bit. Then maybe I could rest.

Today was so nice out...the past few days for that fact. We spent the day outside mostly by the pool. The girls were finally able to dunk their heads and are feeling much better from their swimmers ear. When we came in I just did some laundry and made dinner.

Earlier in the day, I got another nasty email from my sister. She said she tried to apologize. Well her idea of an apology is I quote "I do apologize for what I said to you but you were no angel either". Nice apology huh. Very contradicting.. She also continues to lie and twist the facts. I don't want to speak to her till she can finally tell the truth for once and for all. Maybe one day that will come. But I'm not holding my breath either. LOL!! She thinks my husband's afraid of me now because he knows what really happened because he was there at the time. She thinks he is just afraid to speak up with his own opinion. He's 38 years old and he's not afraid to speak to me if I am wrong. He knows she is wrong! She has no right talking about me or my son the way she did. She even had the nerve to call my husband at work with this. Can you believe that. Whatever.

I am in the process of writing her a lengthily email. I just can't talk to her personally right now because I think that would get me too upset and I already have high blood pressure which I am on medication for so I have to think about my health. I don't need to be having a heart attack over this or an asthma attack form getting so upset. I have to put my family first and I just can't consume all my time on this. I plan on just trying to put it past me and getting on with my life.

Tomorrow David and I were thinking of going to se the movie World Tade Center. I heard it had lots of wonderful review. I know part of me wants to see it but another part doesn't. I just don't want to relive that day and the many weeks and months afterwards with the funerals. I was so sad. It was all just too close to home. I had just gotten my kids off to school that day when I got home to find a special report. I was so worried as many other parents that we should go right over to the schools and pick our children up. Manhattan is not that far from me and my dad works there. I remember my sister Michelle and I taking and being really upset because were weren't positive to my dads whearabouts. Well...lucky him...he played hooky from work that day and was out playing golf. What a relief that was. But for so many ... it was just sad. Ok did I just talk my self into or out of seeing it now?

Gosh exhausted but still can't sleep. I even just took an ambien sleeping pill and it's not working. My husband says because I need to calm down and rest. and get my mind off things. I wish I could.
Big Hugs!!
Dawn

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Saga continues...


Alan the kids and I had a wonderful time yesterday. We went down to Jones Beach last evening and they had a band playing and we walked the boardwalk a bit and then went down by the water the kids had a great time. Then we stopped and had dinner and went home for a swim.

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments. I did finally hear from my sister in a lengthy letter earlier today and she really is in denial of what really happened....maybe it's what she tells her self or her boyfriend who knows. If you lie enough you start to believe yourself. Whatever. It's something she's done many times before. I am so mad at the letter she wrote me that it doesn't even really deserve a response right now. She claims she never said that she called my son anything....which is an outright boldface lie right there. I heard her say it in fact she said it about both me and my son. She called me and my son fat and lazy...nice huh...(which is furthest from the truth not to mention calling me a fat bi*ch over and over again and a terrible mother who's kids are totally undisciplined and telling me my home is a pigsty and that we live like slobs...uggh now how would you feel if your sibling said that to you when you know it's so untrue) I wasn't even going to mention that but whatever....I'm at the point I feel so hurt I don't really care anymore She said that the information was mistook that she was telling my husband that she was sorry for calling me fat and lazy and my son overheard it. What a lie!! And if she was apologizing as she says, why didn't she say it to me? Why would she be telling my husband? Also I was on the phone with my other sister because I was so upset I figured staying away from her and talking to someone else was the best thing so I wouldn't go back at her and she actually calmed me down. My sister heard her say the fat and lazy comment!! It took a lot at the time not to go out there but what would that have done but throw more fuel on the fire. If she really felt we misheard what she said why didn't she correct that right away not wait a couple of weeks to say so especially since she knew my son was hysterical crying.... the reason...because it didn't happen the way she says!! Uggh!!! I hate feeling so angry and hurt. Hurt doesn't even remotely touch how bad I feel. I believe it will take a long time for me or my son to feel better. He is sooo angry and that is no good for a child. He doesn't want to talk to her at all and the mere mention of her name makes him upset right now. There were a lot more lies in her letter as well. One like we are keeping our kids away from her. She lives with my parents so I was over one time to drop off my kids last Sunday so my mom could watch them and then left to go to dinner. So if she felt she couldn't see them then why didn't she spend time with them then. Then on this past Thursday, she came home from work early and my other sister, cousin and I were in the backyard with the kids in the pool and she knew the kids were out there. She made no effort to say hi to them either. She twists things and I am so sick of it. There were so many other lies that I would be here all day going tit for tat. I am not the only one she has ever hurt in our family with her comments. Just wait till her boyfriend sees the real side of her one day. God help him. Maybe I'll answer her letter but when I can better compose my anger towards her--right now is not that time. I just pray my son and I can feel better. I pray that she can get help for her problems and her anger issues. Maybe she needs to learn how to think before she speaks. I am happy we went away. We all had a wonderful time except for the outburst. I just hope like Kat said that hopefully time will heal all the wounds and we can talk it out and put it past us one day. I just don't know how to get past all this anger and hurt right now...and it's not helping that she denies what really happened.

Today was mostly quiet though. I had to run some tournament prizes over to Alan at the store that he forgot to bring and then I came home and straightened up and went outside and vacuumed the pool, went for a swim and laid out in the sun for a little bit while the kids went swimming. Tonight Alan is going out to his friends house to watch a wrestling PPV event. Maybe I'll run and get a video at Blockbuster and have a movie night with the kids. Got to go and finish up dinner...it's rigatoni ala vodka...yum.

Thanks so much for listening oh and here a few pics from yesterday evening at the beach...

Kaylee and Brittany

David and Alan

Jones Beach



Saturday, August 12, 2006

My Audiopost



here is my post done today in an audio format via the telephone. Let me know if it works.

this is an audio post - click to play
Have a great weekend!


Friday, August 11, 2006

Not Feeling Happy!!



Well it's been a heck of a few weeks. I really have been not feeling up to writing due to the events of the last couple of weeks. I have been so down and hurt I was hoping it would resolve by now but it hasn't. I wasn't going to even write about any of what happened but I feel it's my blog and I need to just get it off my chest once and for all.

We got back from vacation from Point Sebago Maine just a little over a week and a half ago. What a trip it's been. I have to say we did have a wonderful time. There was so much to do all the time. I don't think you could ever get bored there. My sister's boyfriend's family was so wonderfully kind and just an absolutely nice group of people. I took tons of pictures which I am working on getting up for you too see.

Unfortunately, there seemed to be some tension between my sister and I...which to this day I have no idea as to why. She was very snappy and yelled all week long especially at her daughter. She even told my husband to shut up on a few occasions. She was so not herself at all. Anyways...this led to a very horrible argument on the night we left all because I asked if anyone knew where a pair of scissors was because our power had gone out and I wanted to trim the wick on some candles to see as I finished packing. I didn't even say it nasty...just does anyone know where the scissors are and then I asked again after looking in a couple of cabinets... still no answer...so I said hello...anyone know where they are... and she quickly snapped back at me with I don't know where the scissors are in a very nasty way...also saying how all I did was complain all the time...complain all the time...I thought to myself... what is she talking about. I had a great time all week long...at that point I just lost it!! I said what the hell is your problem...and then I said F@!K Y*%! What the heck--why did she have to be so freaking nasty for? All she had to say is I'm not sure where the scissors are or maybe look in such in such. Nice coming from a 33 year old. She ended up calling me some pretty horrible names and said some horrible things about me, my family, and my home...not to mention that she lunged at me as if she was going to jump me but thankfully my husband was standing there and stopped her. She really needs some anger management or a sedative or something. She especially said some things about my son and he is very deeply hurt. He wants nothing to do with her anymore because of this. I don't think I have ever been so mad and angry at anyone in my whole life. I hate to be like this but I just don't see this resolving itself. She never even apologized for what she did to my son... knowing he was crying hysterical. My husband did tell her that she cannot talk to our children like that. She was so out of line. I have totally had it with her and I plan on keeping my distance because I am not going to have my family upset because she feels the need to act like a nut. Her own daughter agreed that she should have apologized especially to my son. She said she didn't do anything wrong so she doesn't need to apologize to anyone. My poor son was just an innocent bystander to the argument unfortunately, so why she said anything about him is beyond me. She pulled crap with me last year around this time when my mom kicked her out of the house but this time she has really gone off the deep end with how cruel she was. I would never in a million years say anything she said to anyone.

So that's it... What do I do now?...beats me. I've just had it at this point.


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