There is such a tremendous feeling of freedom from “letting go." Knowing the only mind we can control is our own. Let other’s just "do what they do." You can’t take the responsibility for how others act, speak and behave. It is just too exhausting, stressful and time consuming. If you do, you might as well try and teach a cat to bark….just not going to happen.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
There comes a point in life where you have to do what is best for you despite what others say or think. Coming to the realizeation that cutting family ties with certain people is the best solution when there doesn’t seem to be any hope of change and the same cycle keeps being repeated over and over again. When this fracture in the relationship is not healing, and you have to keep feeling anxiety and depression to the point you feel sick just being around this person and it is affecting your life and that of your family's, it is the best thing you can do for the time being to take a step back and take care of yourself and your family again without this person.
Some may see this as a noble decision as they have seen the pain you have been in and only want what is best for you to heal. Others may see it as selfish for creating a rift in the family, therby smashing the rest of the family’s delusions of its own cohesiveness and “normality.” Though after taking all the unnecessary crap the person has dealt you, you have to protect yourself and feelings from being hurt again. It’s it time to find a new normal for yourself and your family.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some wonderful memories that you will always cherish, but now that this person is an adult and taking a very major toll on you emotionally for a very long time. Deep down you will have the feeling that "I really don’t think it will change, and this is how this person is and has been for far too long." When you feel a relationship has changed from a loving, caring and trusting one to one that is very inconsistent and complicated you have to stop and make a choice to examine that relationship. There should be joy, trust and moreover love.
I am not saying this choice will be an easy one and will be very difficult. You need to take the time and ponder what you need to do to make yourself a happier, healthy person once again. If you have tried to let this person know what their actions have done to you and your family, but there was never an apology for even making you feel the way they did, you will instinctively know those toxic feelings that built up with the repetition of the same old habits aren’t right for your or your family. How can someone who is supposed to love and care about you not even care how they made you feel. Life will have to go on and hopefully for the better and happier future. I am sure there will feel like there is a void for sometime, but wouldn’t you rather have relationships that you have created for yourself and your family that are healthier and peaceful all around.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
I wish certain family and friends were supportive and respectful of my feelings for once. How is it the person who is being rude, gets support from family, friends. How many called me, sent a card, or a note knowing how hard of a time I was having...the pain I was feeling. I have to feel like the outcast?
I am also tired of hearing about the ones who say things behind your back, analyzing and saying what opinions they have. Are you kidding me? You have no idea. Those people should really try taking a look at themselves first before casting judgement on someone else. You have something to say then say it to me.
I have been hurt too many times, and I am tired of walking around on egg shells wondering if this person is going to be rude and nasty or the sweet person I once knew...it changes all the time. I have my walls up now to protect my feelings and I am doing my best to move forward until I get an apology for lying and the rude behavior.
Remember, I am not the one who caused this situation. Anyone who does not like this...too bad! Remember though, what comes around goes around. Someday you will be in a position where you need the support, wonder who will be there for you….
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Kaylee just celebrated her 11th birthday on August 31st. She asked for Baby Red Ear Sliders. Here is a video of her opening up her package that came in the mail today.
Anyone have any ideas for names for this little female turtles?
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
David graduates from high school in just less than three months. He is looking into going into IT work. He is really good at computers, graphics, etc. He has been working hard on his Senior Project which is an intern program the students have to complete to graduate.
Brittany and Kaylee we are considering sending them to catholic school. I just feel they would benefit more there with their education. Working on applications for them and for David for college.
This week is Alan and David’s birthday’s on March 31st. David is going to be 18!! I just can’t even believe how fast this time seemed to go by. We are having a small get together for them next Sunday.
Our 20th wedding anniversary is coming up in May. Alan just bought me a beautiful new engagement ring and wedding band. It is so beautiful. The picture I took really does it no justice. It is so bright and clear. It is a 1.8 ct. diamond engagement ring (1 ct. in middle and .80 on sides) and a .70 diamond wedding band. My original set was lost some years back when I had to have emergency surgery. They were cut off and then lost. I was so heartbroken. We couldn’t replace them right away so I have to say it was worth the wait. Though I would give anything to have my original set back.
Alan and I have been working very hard since the beginning of the year with the American Heart Association. They asked me at the beginning of the year to be community teams head chairperson. I was honored. I was told it was because I got the award for Top Community Teams Captain at the awards breakfast we went to. It has been a lot of work but I am enjoying all of it. We are planning some great events for "Kaylee’s Heart" as well with the proceeds going to the American Heart Association. More details will be coming as we finalize everything. We have a website up at www.KayleesHeart.com and also now a Facebook page as well at Kaylee’s Heart Facebook.