There is such a tremendous feeling of freedom from “letting go." Knowing the only mind we can control is our own. Let other’s just "do what they do." You can’t take the responsibility for how others act, speak and behave. It is just too exhausting, stressful and time consuming. If you do, you might as well try and teach a cat to bark….just not going to happen.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
There comes a point in life where you have to do what is best for you despite what others say or think. Coming to the realizeation that cutting family ties with certain people is the best solution when there doesn’t seem to be any hope of change and the same cycle keeps being repeated over and over again. When this fracture in the relationship is not healing, and you have to keep feeling anxiety and depression to the point you feel sick just being around this person and it is affecting your life and that of your family's, it is the best thing you can do for the time being to take a step back and take care of yourself and your family again without this person.
Some may see this as a noble decision as they have seen the pain you have been in and only want what is best for you to heal. Others may see it as selfish for creating a rift in the family, therby smashing the rest of the family’s delusions of its own cohesiveness and “normality.” Though after taking all the unnecessary crap the person has dealt you, you have to protect yourself and feelings from being hurt again. It’s it time to find a new normal for yourself and your family.
Don’t get me wrong, there are some wonderful memories that you will always cherish, but now that this person is an adult and taking a very major toll on you emotionally for a very long time. Deep down you will have the feeling that "I really don’t think it will change, and this is how this person is and has been for far too long." When you feel a relationship has changed from a loving, caring and trusting one to one that is very inconsistent and complicated you have to stop and make a choice to examine that relationship. There should be joy, trust and moreover love.
I am not saying this choice will be an easy one and will be very difficult. You need to take the time and ponder what you need to do to make yourself a happier, healthy person once again. If you have tried to let this person know what their actions have done to you and your family, but there was never an apology for even making you feel the way they did, you will instinctively know those toxic feelings that built up with the repetition of the same old habits aren’t right for your or your family. How can someone who is supposed to love and care about you not even care how they made you feel. Life will have to go on and hopefully for the better and happier future. I am sure there will feel like there is a void for sometime, but wouldn’t you rather have relationships that you have created for yourself and your family that are healthier and peaceful all around.