Friday, September 14, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I am learning from therapy and life that if you decide to share something important with someone, or try to amend a broken relationship, you should do so without any expectation of a response or at least the response you were really looking for. I really wish I followed that advice when I sent a group of family/friends an incredibly personal piece that I wrote about the severe depression -- suicidal thoughts and all, all with hopes it would help those people to maybe, just maybe understand me better.
I shared myself, a very personal side of myself. What I did get from some was the utmost support that I will cherish always. The rest of the people I reached out too, especially some family members were shocking to say the least. We support you just not they way you want. Who says that? They may as well have dug a hole in the ground for me to jump in to. It hurt so much they couldn’t just "get it!" All I ever expected was what I got from a handful of people that did take what I wrote seriously. It was that they “got it”-- the whole depression thing or they were willing to listen further to understand. That they knew I have been going through a lot. They were compassionate and supportive. They were glad I shared with them what I had been through and were there to tell me "I support you in any way I can.” if it will help you feel better.
And when I didn’t get that from the others, especially certain family members, I was really upset and hurt. I just assumed they would get it. What I have come to realize especially with depression is most people just don’t get it. I was venting to a cousin who get’s me totally. It was especially after a rude remark from someone saying “oh she changed…it must be the medications she is on.” and some other idiotic remarks. For someone to say the things they did it was quite disheartening. How dare they. My cousin has said this to me this over and over again many times. His exact words were “People just don’t get depression. Remember that and you will be less disappointed.” I told my cousin, “no one understands me just a small handful. You, my parents, my one sister and a few others. That’s it! Everyone else just thinks I’m nuts.” He said, “Who cares what they think. Why do you think you need their approval? I don’t think your nuts. I love you and support you.” I have been hurting and sad and needed approval? He was right. I know who believes in me. Who supports me wholeheartedly. If I don’t want to be constantly frustrated I need to lower my expectations. I don’t need those people in my life who don’t understand me and show no support for me. I guess what I am saying is assume that people won’t understand and just be glad if they do. Can I tell you what a challenge that is for me. Most people don’t get it, and the day I get that through my head the less disappointed I will be.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy Mother’s Day!!
Had a fabulous day. Woke up to flowers Alan had delivered to me and a wonderful breakfast in bed. He also surprised me with a Bose SoundLink® Wireless Mobile speaker.
|Gift Alan got me for Mother’s Day|
Our trip to Harbes Farm and Greenport Long Island for my Mom’s Birthday & Mother’s Day!
Monday, May 7, 2012
|Click to view slideshow|
|Lakehouse in Mt. Pocono, PA|
|Lakehouse in Mt. Pocono, PA|
|Dock and boat|
|View from upper deck|
|Pool table and Tredmill|
|Sit by the lake|
|Pool just steps from house|
|Tennis near house|
|Lower deck in back of house with view of lake|
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Was spending some time taking some pictures of one of our three 6 month old Red Ear Sliders named “Squirt”. He is actually my favorite. We have two others named “Speedy" and “Shelly”. Just click on the picture and it will open up into a little slideshow.
Here is a smaller show of just a few pictures
Friday, March 23, 2012
Spent the day on Thursday cleaning and working on cleaning our basement. Which believe me is a huge undertaking. It was the spot where we had surround sound and our big screen tv until that blew out about a year ago. Then with all the other fixing up around the house it became the storage area which is so discombobulated at the moment. Well to put things in gear and for Alan and David’s birthdays which are on March 31st, I figured we would clean up the basement and reclaim our big screen tv room and bought a 73” HD1080p Mitsubishi 3D cinema television. They are thrilled to say the least! Alan is so happy about getting his movie room back!
It looks smaller in this but boy when you measure 73 inches from corner to corner of a tv it will basically fit our whole wall space. It will be be delivered on Tuesday so I need to get into major gear and get it done.
We also made plans for Easter Sunday with my parents. We were originally going to go away because lets face it, it has been hard with the holidays with my sister and I not talking for the last 7 months. I tried but she is just one of the most unsupportive people I know sadly and her husband is actually no better on stuff he pulled with my husband. It is all so stupid but it is what it is at the moment and it is how things have to be until things someday maybe change. So after asking my parents about the holiday a week ago and not hearing anything back, I just thought I would be better removing myself from the holiday altogether and spend it in Lancaster, PA with my family so I didn’t have to worry and I figured it would take the pressure off my parents and us. Though after talking to my Mom and the other night, she said her and my Dad were really looking forward to going with us to Milleridge Inn which is here on Long Island. So I cancelled Lancaster, PA. I know crazy. I guess I jumped the gun on that one. I just don’t know what to do sometimes. I am always so scared of getting hurt, and just try to figure out how I can protect my feelings from being hurt. It’s a whole mess. Just so much runs through my head these days and I know it has to do with my over thinking things and part of my depression. Though I have to say, I would always choose family! I would rather spend Easter with my parents and family at Milleridge Inn. It is like a quaint little colonial town and they have for Easter Sunday the Easter Bunny walking around, old fashioned banjo players, little colonial shops, petting zoo and it really turns into a nice day. The kids end up having such a nice day too!
Well that is pretty much all for today! Got lots of cleaning to do!
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
What beautiful weather for the first day of Spring! It was 70 degrees and sunny. I opened all the windows, cleaned the curtains and aired out the house. Love the smell of fresh cleaned curtains hanging on an open window. Smells so good. Sometimes it is just the simplest things that brighten up a day! Tomorrow I think I will start with some spring cleaning and clean the glass windows inside and out. Thankfully not such a bad job since my windows fold in when I wash them.
I am also redoing my bedroom in a nice blue for the spring summer months. I just got curtains and a new quilt for the bed.
I was inspired by this picture. It just looks so country and cozy and summery...
Although my room has wood floors I just liked the blues and whites in this picture. I ended up buying this quilt pictured below at overstock.com for $54.00 which includes the quilt and the two pillow shams. I also got a white eyelet dust ruffle and white euro pillow shams to match as well.
The quilt actually has blue gingham check going around the edge so I found a gingham pattern window valance and swags (picture below) color looks a little darker in the picture from what it really is. It actually goes really nicely.
Then I got the large runner for my dresser that matches the curtains and two place mats that I am going to use on my bedside tables. Now all I am waiting for is my lampshades (pictured below) that I picked out that are on backorder but I should have by the end of the month.
I can’t wait for it to all come together finally. I think it will look really nice. Love redoing things makes it feel fresh and new.
I also bought a new gadget for the house. I have always been one to use a mop but I had a friend tell me about the Shark Professional Steam Pocket Mop. I have been using it now for the last 3 days and it works great. The steam heats up in about 20 seconds and it is continuous. It has 3 settings on it dust which is a light steam, then mop a little heavier and scrub which is the heaviest steam. It cleans the floors and sanitizes them and all without the heavy cleaner. Just plain old water. Great especially for me because of my asthma so there are no fumes. It comes with 3 cotton micro-fiber pads that come right off and can be thrown in the wash to clean. Did I say I love it!!
So other than that, today was a great day. So beautiful out we actually barbecued for dinner and then relaxed and watched the new Muppet Movie with the kids. It was really cute.
Heres hoping for another great day tomorrow!