Sunday, March 25, 2012

“Squirt” Our Turtle

Was spending some time taking some pictures of one of our three 6 month old  Red Ear Sliders named “Squirt”.  He is actually my favorite.  We have two others named “Speedy" and “Shelly”.  Just click on the picture and it will open up into a little slideshow.

  Click to play this Smilebox slideshow

Here is a smaller show of just a few pictures
Click to play this Smilebox collage


Friday, March 23, 2012

Cleaning for Television

Spent the day on Thursday cleaning and working on cleaning our basement.  Which believe me is a huge undertaking.  It was the spot where we had surround sound and our big screen tv until that blew out about a year ago.  Then with all the other fixing up around the house it became the storage area which is so discombobulated at the moment.  Well to put things in gear and for Alan and David’s birthdays which are on March 31st, I figured we would clean up the basement and reclaim our big screen tv room and bought a 73” HD1080p Mitsubishi 3D cinema television.  They are thrilled to say the least!  Alan is so happy about getting his movie room back!

It looks smaller in this but boy when you measure 73 inches from corner to corner of a tv it will basically fit our whole wall space.  It will be be delivered on Tuesday so I need to get into major gear and get it done. 

We also made plans for Easter Sunday with my parents.  We were originally going to go away because lets face it, it has been hard with the holidays with my sister and I not talking for the last 7 months.  I tried but she is just one of the most unsupportive people I know sadly and her husband is actually no better on stuff he pulled with my husband.  It is all so stupid but it is what it is at the moment and it is how things have to be until things someday maybe change. So after asking my parents about the holiday a week ago and not hearing anything back, I just thought I would be better removing myself from the holiday altogether and spend it in Lancaster, PA with my family so I didn’t have to worry and I figured it would take the pressure off my parents and us.  Though after talking to my Mom and the other night, she said her and my Dad were really looking forward to going with us to Milleridge Inn which is here on Long Island. So I cancelled Lancaster, PA.  I know crazy.  I guess I jumped the gun on that one.  I just don’t know what to do sometimes.  I am always so scared of getting hurt, and just try to figure out how I can protect my feelings from being hurt.  It’s a whole mess. Just so much runs through my head these days and I know it has to do with my over thinking things and part of my depression.  Though I have to say,   I would always choose family!  I would rather spend Easter with my parents and family at Milleridge Inn.  It is like a quaint little colonial town and they have for Easter Sunday the Easter Bunny walking around, old fashioned banjo players, little colonial shops, petting zoo and it really turns into a nice day.   The kids end up having such a nice day too!

Well that is pretty much all for today!  Got lots of cleaning to do!


Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Oh Spring Has Sprung!

What beautiful weather for the first day of Spring!  It was 70 degrees and sunny.  I opened all the windows,  cleaned the curtains and aired out the house.  Love the smell of fresh cleaned curtains hanging on an open window. Smells so good.  Sometimes it is just the simplest things that brighten up a day! Tomorrow I think I will start with some spring cleaning and clean the glass windows inside and out.  Thankfully not such a bad job since my windows fold in when I wash them.

I am also redoing my bedroom in a nice blue for the spring summer months.  I just got curtains and a new quilt for the bed.

I was inspired by this picture.  It just looks so country and cozy and summery...

Although my room has wood floors I just liked the blues and whites in this picture.  I ended up buying this quilt pictured below at for $54.00  which includes the quilt and the two pillow shams.  I also got a white eyelet dust ruffle and white euro pillow shams to match as well. 
The quilt actually has blue gingham check going around the edge so I found a gingham pattern window valance and swags (picture below) color looks a little darker in the picture from what it really is.  It actually goes really nicely.  

Then I got the large runner for my dresser that matches the curtains and two place mats that I am going to use on my bedside tables.   Now all I am waiting for is my lampshades (pictured below) that I picked out that are on backorder but I should have by the end of the month. 

I can’t wait for it to all come together finally.  I think it will look really nice.  Love redoing things makes it feel fresh and new.  

I also bought a new gadget for the house.  I have always been one to use a mop but I had a friend tell me about the Shark Professional Steam Pocket Mop.  I have been using it now for the last 3 days and it works great.  The steam heats up in about 20 seconds and it is continuous.  It has 3 settings on it dust which is a light steam, then mop a little heavier and scrub which is the heaviest steam. It cleans the floors and sanitizes them and all without the heavy cleaner.  Just plain old water.  Great especially for me because of my asthma so there are no fumes.  It comes with 3 cotton micro-fiber pads that come right off and can be thrown in the wash to clean.  Did I say I love it!! 

So other than that,  today was a great day.  So beautiful out we actually barbecued for dinner and then relaxed and watched the new Muppet Movie with the kids.  It was really cute.

Heres hoping for another great day tomorrow!


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Just Don’t Get It...

Although I am so blessed with some really terrific people in my life, people who have been there for me no matter what and who support me and who are always there for me, trying to get some people to understand the major depressive disorder and mania I have been dealing with is so very hard. It is almost like another battle I have to endure while trying to get better.  I almost killed myself it got so bad. I know now that is no answer but still some no matter how I explain myself, they just don't get it at all. They just think it is something I can snap out of and it couldn't be furthest from the truth...don't get me wrong, I wish there was some magic wand to wave and poof Dawn is all back to normal. But sadly it is not the case.  It is taking a lot of hard work in therapy and medication to allow me to function in a way so I can just get out of bed every day and take care of my husband and children.

The best way I can explain it for me is I feel like I am down in a deep, dark scary well. No ladder, no rope, no blanket, no pillow, just a deep dark, scary well and everyone else around me keeps walking back and forth up above and occassionally yells down at me, "hey, Dawn, . . .you are in a hole . . . you should climb out and come up here with the rest of us!" and then I say, "I have no ladder or rope, please help me!" . . . but nobody hears what I really need . . . they just keep walking by before they can realize that I REALLY DO NEED HELP! I try so hard to reach out for that help but sadly only a very few ever hear me and throw me a rope or a ladder and help me up climb out of it. I know for me my therapist and my medications are my rope and ladder so to speak, I just wish people could understand and be more mindful of what it is I am going through and know it is not a choice for me to want to feel so terrible. I want out of this deep, dark scary well.  It is not a fun place to be and feel so alone and scared.

Sadly, for a few people in my life, I have had to distance myself from because they can't show support or they have been cruel in what they have said. When just a little kindness and support was all I really needed to help get me out of this deep dark scary hole I am in. I am really getting tired of trusting them with my feelings, because it seems just when I think they might understand and sometimes they even say they do . . . boom! I get knocked back by something they do or say that puts me spiraling down that well even deeper.  They don't even know what I'm feeling and they will probably never ever understand the depth of the pain they caused by just walking by instead of reaching out to help me.

It's sad that they can and have taken support from me or others around me when it was needed for them, but they cant show it in the way that was needed...when I needed them to most understand and support me. I may as well learn not to share what I am going through with anyone because when I open my heart and reach out for support it gets crushed leaving me spiral further down then I was before. I think I get sad and hurt because I am the type of person who would reach out for someone else and I expect that it should be reciprocated when I need that help now but sadly it doesn't happen.  I just don’t understand and want to but right now I have to worry about me and trying to get better and like I said.  Even thought there are ones who will just not get it and that hurts more than you know, I do have some real terrific people in my life that are there and do get my major depression and are such a great support to me.  I know I will get through this and hopefully come out stronger and hopefully happier in the end.  


Saturday, March 17, 2012

So True

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Woke up at 7am today to get my two corned beefs in the crock pot and cooking slowly all day long.  The house smells so good already.  Just have some red bliss potatoes to peal and veggies to cook.  

I am going to try a new recipe for Irish Coffee Cake with Bailey’s Irish Cream in it.  Looks good huh.

I am playing around and setting up my new iPad 3 that I picked up at Best Buy yesterday.  It is so much faster.  It was awesome that it let me keep my grandfathered plan of $29 a month unlimited data for the 4g.  I had the original iPad and gave that one to Kaylee.  She was thrilled. 

Other than that everything else is quiet and just going to enjoy our little St. Patrick’s Day!


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Skate Night

Went to skate night with Kaylee at United Skates.  It was for all the graduating 5th graders this year at her school.  They all wore their t-shirts and skated with their friends and had pizza, played games and just had a blast.  

Kaylee all ready to roller skate

I only ended up staying a little while.  For some reason or another, my medication did not agree with me.  My prednisone does a number on my joints and makes me feel like if I even walk or bend I am going to break something.  It was terrible.  Alan thankfully was nearby at our store so he came and stayed with Kaylee for the rest of the evening so I could get home and rest.  I am happy I was able to go for the little bit and get some pictures of her.  She was so busy buzzing around with her friends.   I feel a little better tonight.  Just have to put up with this for a few more days until I am completely weened off this awful medication.  It helps one thing but causes other problems.  What else is new?

Tomorrow, I am hoping to get to the store and get my St. Patrick’s Day dinner.  Pick out a nice corned beef and cabbage.  That is actually my daughter Brittany’s favorite meal.  Love cooking for my family and making nice dinners and I love making everyones favorite meals.  

Well off to bed! 


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Looking forward to fun!

It’s been a busy yet crazy few weeks, Brittany getting over pneumonia and Kaylee a tonsil infection. She may have to have them out in summer but we are hoping not.  It all depends if she gets another infection by summer. Everyone including my self on the mend from a sore throat, ear infection and bronchitis.  The usual for us this time of year sadly.  But we all pulled through God willing.  I am just glad everyone is feeling better. 

We have also been working on putting together a nice party for Kaylee for her graduation. She has worked so hard this year and has come such a long way with being mainstreamed back into regular classes. We were debating with another restaurant party which are nice but decided on this after stumbling upon it.  I did her invites to look like a boarding pass and they came out great.  I got them from a website called  Expressionables.  They really did a great job on them.  

The party boat is something fun and different we never did before and I am getting great responses so far. We rented a yacht boat out of Freeport, NY that will sail for 4 hours off the coast of the South Shore of Long Island.   Even if the weather is not so great the boat is inclosed so it will still be enjoyable for everyone.  I am hopping for a nice day though.

Here is a pic of the boat. It has 3 levels and really nice inside.  Looking forward to a nice time with some great family and friends.  Now I am trying to figure out favors for the day.  

Well I am off for another dentist appointment.  Then hopefully later on manicure and pedicures with the girls.  Makes you feel better to do something nice for yourself.  Tomorrow we have an Irish Festival we are going to try and attend at Hofstra University.  It usually has quite a few vendors, food and music and gets you in the mood for St. Patricks day! Hope everyone is doing well!  Don’t for get to spring ahead your clocks tonight 



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